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Well, I finally have a permanent, full-time job.  It’s not ideal, but I’m gainfully employed and, for that, I’m grateful.  No more 90 mi. round trip commute.  It’s 3.3 miles from my office to my house.  I could walk it, if I wanted to and didn’t need to be in pristine condition when I got there.  Maybe one day, but for now, I’m okay with the drive.

It has been a rough year and it has kicked my tuchus six ways from Sunday.  I’ve struggled with feelings of failure and letting all those around me down.  I hit a serious depression and there were days I couldn’t get my head up off the pillow.  Failed interview after failed interview and opportunities that I couldn’t make happen really brought me down.  I accepted a temp position with a company in June and was finally made permanent a few weeks ago.  A good friend helped me out with kid-care this summer when I started temping so I didn’t have to pay daycare rates.  As did the midwest G’ma and Papa L.  Fabul-O spent 3 weeks visiting them this summer.  It was wonderful for her and them.

I’ve made several attempts to redefine me and I have learned, but am still struggling to accept, is I am who I am and that’s not going to change.  Complacency gets us all and it got the best of me.  So, I’m no longer working on reinventing me or even redefining me.  I’m working on making the me I am the best it can be.  I still struggle and I still have a long way to go.  We have had the love and support of friends and family and I am so thankful I surround myself with people who care and don’t just throw lip service our way.  I am so glad I raised Olivia to understand the value of what we have and what we give because it’s helped to adjust to our revised way of living.

I’m back at Weight Watchers and had a successful first week back on plan.  I struggled this week, but I’m having to break a lot of bad habits and, damn, that gets a lot harder the older you get.  And oatmeal doesn’t taste nearly as good as a biscuit.

Olivia participated in her first 5K in September.  We ran about the first half mile and we walked the rest.  We finished in 52 minutes and I am super proud of my girl.  People say we could have shaved 5 min off our time had I not taken her picture at the mile markers.  We walked in support of Operation Homefront North Carolina.  She says she wants to do another one.  Running it.

I had my 20 year class reunion a few weeks ago.  20 years changed a lot of us in a lot of ways.  Others of us it totally skipped and nothing has changed.  I’ve changed.  And I’m glad.

I’m who I am and that won’t change.  There are still a lot of things that need to be worked on and I will… one of them at a time.




The USMC Mud Run is just about a month away.  Man, where does time go?!?

We have finalized our t-shirt design and I’m working with the printer to get them done.  *squee*  Will post a piccie of it when done.  What?  Looking the part isn’t the most important thing?    I know it’s not.  Just teasing.

I’ve been consistent in my going to the gym and cross training.  Evening runs are the problem and mornings are totally out for me simply because I’m not a morning person.  I don’t function in the mornings and I surely don’t want to tack on the extra hour+ to the beginning of my day.  Hey, I’m honest about it, so that’s got to count for something.  While it might count, it doesn’t do much for preparing me.   I’m hoping my outdoor progress will be the equivalent to half my gym progress.  I’m good with that.  Dear teammates: Please remember you love me for me…not my athletic ability. xo

I’ve also started back to Weight Watchers.  This time it’s on the buddy system (Hi, A!!).  Week 1: Awesome.  Week 2: Weigh in showed I ate week 1.  Crap.  Here’s to hoping week 3 is back on track.  As much as I joked about it, I didn’t think week 2 was that bad of a grazing week for me and my food choices were pretty good.   We’ll see.

I’m trying hard to like running, but I just can’t seem to get it together.  I read bloggers who give me hope and inspiration, but, when it comes time to lace up the shoes, the mojo just isn’t there.   I want it to be so badly.  Someone told me when I get to where I’m consistent it will be better.   I hope so.  Now to work on getting consistent.

We bought bikes, but Olivia doesn’t really want to ride hers, so there’s not a whole lot we can do with that unless we go one at a time and that’s not fun.   Hoping to make it to the National Whitewater Center to do the ropes course as I’ve never actually done one and would like to before the run and we can ride the trails there, too.

My skydiving adventure keeps getting delayed by the weather.  Monday through Friday the weather is awesome in the morning.  Weekends all cloud cover.  I’ve been excited about it, but now I’m ready to just do it.  It’s getting annoying not being able to go.

There’s another something fun on our horizon, but I don’t want to post about it until we get it and it’s done.  Please don’t ask if it’s a baby.  It’s not.  As much as I wish it was, it isn’t.  Working on finalizing that in the next couple of weeks. We refer to it as “Holiday Road.”

This week’s goals are to continue working to turn my high hopes and aspirations into reality and keep on working towards love winning.

Be well…

I’m serious about the mud run.  Will might not think I am and most people I tell about it roll their eyes at me, but I am.   We will have to have a four-person team so I’m hoping he’ll get serious about it and we can get him through physical therapy to participate.  He is supposed to tell his therapist about it and let them decide what they think the likelihood is he will be able to participate.  If he can’t then I need 3 more.  Anyone?  Anyone? 

Dr. Huha listened to my plea to get me off the seizure medication and we’re working my way backwards to something much more mild.  He suggested, in front of my 4-1/2 year old, that I practice safe relations to avoid the three-headed baby I’m concerned about should my eggs do something asinine like fertilize.  A herd of wild buffalo led by Cindewella  and Pwince Chahming couldn’t have broken her trance off her mindless scribbling, but the word s.e.x. had her at full attention.  He did that scream-whisper when he repeated it like I didn’t understand it the first two times he said it.  Jayzus man…I get it!  That wasn’t an “I’m confused” look.  It was more of an “I’m terrified because now I have to avert a s.e.x. explanation when I leave here”  look.

Anyway, Dr. Huha has reconfigured my medication and I should be able to hit the gym soon.  I’m totally ready for this.  Giving up my indulgences is another story. I’m having a hard time sticking too that…as I have been for quite some time. 

I researched shoes.  And I found these.  I could have picked the boring blue, but I wanted the bright pink.  10% off be damned.  I was able to search out a 20% off coupon code on retailmen0t(dot)com.  With free shipping.  And they are a Upromise partner. And they have free returns should I not like my new kicks.  win-win-win-win. 

We are also in the wee beginnings of something new.  It’s pretty big and we aren’t sure what the outcome will be or if it will even work out for us.  We could use some prayers and some good wishes for the best possible outcome, whatever that may be.  I’ll update on it as soon as I can, but it may not be for several months, so keep us tucked in the recesses of your mind, wouldja?

Contractor called today.  They want to frame the room addition tomorrow and set the windows and doors.  They’ll have to come back another day to do siding and inside, but should be no more than a 2-day job.  We’ll install the lighting and whatnot. It’s not fayncee, but it’s something.  I got a lil nervous about not having a permit since most of the structure was already here (slab and roof), but applied anyway.  Neighbor did same project without permit.  Code enforcement will come inspect ours and I’m afraid he’ll get busted.  Conscience is in my way, but I did what I felt we needed to do. Fine is double the cost of permit.  We picked up the 2x4s, door, and insulation today.  Windows we’ve had for a couple of weeks.  Siding we couldn’t agree on because I didn’t see the exact thing he said to get, so I’ll let contractor pick it up.  Kudos to Lowe’s for giving military discount.   Need to pick out the lighting – think I’ve found what I like and it’s on clearance – blinds and floor covering.  Pieces of cake.

Guesties arrive next week.  So excited.  The boys are going to the race.  There’s gonna be a girl’s night out in the BIG city.  Shannon and Shanny will be joining us so it’s sure to be a blast.  Can’t wait.

Until next time….

I skipped weigh in last week.  I simply couldn’t bring myself to go.  

I went tonight and lost 1.4 lbs.   


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