That’s what I have.  However, I know deep down that’s just posh talk for being scared utterly crapless about the mud run this weekend.  In 3 days I’m going to embark on the 4.5 mile obstacle course.  I’m not ready.  I know I’m not ready.  I have  a great cheering fan base who all tell me, “you’ll do great!”  In reality, I  won’t.  How do I know?  Because I got my arse handed to me on a platter and lapped by the girl who got lost in the woods for Girl Scout 5k we did.  That’s how I know.  Not much has changed.  I’m drinking tons of water trying to keep hydrated because I quickly learned that dehydration sucks hugely.   I know it’s about having fun and getting muddy.  I know it’s raising money for a terrific cause.  I know I’m doing it and there are others who aren’t even attempting it.  I hurt my shoulder about a month ago at the gym and it’s feeling better, but it’s still not as good as I’ve wanted it to be.  I’m scared.  Loqi says not to be.  Will says not to be.  But I am.  There’s a monkey bars type obstacle.  Hell, I couldn’t do monkey bars when I was in elementary school and I certainly can’t do them now.

There are 3,600 four-person teams.  That’s 14,400 people.  There simply has to be someone who is in worse condition than me.  I hate it, but I’ve lost the drive that had me working so hard for it.  I want to do this.  I really, really do, but I think I have mega cold feet and have a huge fear of letting my teammates down.  My parents are even driving down for it, which is huge and makes me even more nervous.  My fears are rational.  I know a lot of people get race day jitters.  But I’m scared.

If you think about it, on Saturday, September 25 at 9:21:20, we will start and I ask you send me some good ju-ju.  I just want to finish.  Alive.  And not broken.  And not last.  And most of all, I don’t want my teammates to regret being on my team.

You can read a little about it here.