I love being a mom.  Plain and simple.  I love my daughter with a love I didn’t know I was capable of.  My mom told me there was no greater love than a mother’s love.  I didn’t believer her.  But I should have.

When we first came home with Olivia, I would promise every night to be a better mommy tomorrow than I was today. I would whisper it in her ear as my heart filled with joy of tucking in the child I never thought I’d have. I don’t do it every night anymore, although I should, but I still do it. We have bad days. We have days where I’m exhausted. We have days where it seems I can do nothing right. We have days where I reach my breaking point and have to walk outside to clear my head. What I’ve never done is regret becoming a family. Ever. As much as I love my child, we have moments where I just can’t imagine I’m making the best decisions for any of us. But I forge on knowing if I’ve made a mistake I’ll hopefully do it differently next time.

I love holding her and wished she was a cuddler. She never has been. We hold hands often and we share laughs and giggles and all things fun. She’s snarky, she’s learning to be witty and she’s beautiful – inside and out. She’s an independent, loving, caring, compassionate child. She’s my child. Maybe not biologically, but she is my child. From the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She is my child and my world.

While I have access to some of the best healthcare there is, we’ve been blessed beyond measure that we’ve never needed it, aside from a little ‘ol nasal ablation last fall when her nose was bleeding so bad. My daughter is healthy. She can run, she can play and the little heart that allows her to be so compassionate beats with a healthy, steady rhythm.

There are a lot of families who aren’t so lucky. If you know anyone who has ever had a blog over at Caringbridge, you know there is likely a health related struggle. There are so many families whose children aren’t healthy and who face crisis after crisis and watch as their children battle illnesses that the strongest of adults would crumble under. As many parents would, I would take my last breath right now just to have my child be able to be healthy and live a long, fruitful life. What amazes me about a lot of these families is their faith. Their reliance on G*d. I have a lot of faith. I pray and I know Jes*s Chr*st as my Savior. Despite this, I often find it hard to put my troubles in His hands knowing He will choose the outcome. I struggle with being able to let go of control.

As usual, I digress…

I started reading the Riggs’ blog last year during a time when their Guatemalan daughter, Abby, was undergoing chemotherapy for leukemia. It broke my heart. Recently, they posted a link to this family’s blog. I am in absolute awe of their faith and their strength. Their daughter, Chrissie, was adopted with a known heart issue. I encourage you to read their story, but I recommend you have a box of tissues handy. For me, it’s perspective. It reminds me just how fortunate and blessed we are to have not only a wonderful child, but a child who is healthy.

The blogging community is kind of a neat one, at least the blog circles I run in. The adoption circle was my first experience with bloggy buddies, e-pals and imaginary friends. I have met some of the most wonderful people ever. There’s the “original” group with whom I share a bond. I’m connected to them through their keystrokes and I’ve been fortunate enough to meet them in real life. I also have the milspouses I’ve grown quite fond of and follow their stories, again through their keystrokes. Thanks to SpouseBuzz, I have met a wonderful group of women, and some of their misters, who give me a little bit of something from the military side of our life.

Everyday Olivia prays for the people in China for the earthquake, as well as those in Chile. She also prays for the ones the volcano in Iceland has affected and tornadoes that whipped through Mississippi; she heard it on the news and told me that people need our prayers. We prayed. We also pray for all those who have unspoken needs, people we don’t know but are facing circumstances and challenges and need guidance and wisdom. If you’re the praying type, don’t forget the parents of children who are struggling. We all know there is no worse feeling than the one of not being able to help your child and there are so many people who fit that bill.

Friends are the family we get to choose. Y’all know I believe that and y’all also know I think I’ve made some pretty awesome choices.

Thank you for allowing me to share where I found perspective.

Be well….

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