“I don’t want you to get upset…”

Hasn’t Will learned after 13 years of being together this is NOT the way to start a conversation?  Ever?  Sheesh.  We were on our way to the bridal shop to get him fitted for a tuxedo for the NC Heroes Fund gala in, ohhhh, less than 3 weeks.  No, he’s not wearing a military dress uniform.  It wasn’t issued by the Guard.  I’m going to leave it at that.  Otherwise, my blood pressure goes way up really, really fast and you may lose a little love for him.

Anyway, so I hear:

“I don’t want you to get upset, but something happened today…… I was having a bad day so I went to the store for a Snickers bar and I hadn’t even gotten inside when some son of a b*tch tried to break into my car.  I had the windows cracked a little and the doors were locked…”

This is where my jaw dropped, I sucked every bit of air out of the car and, honestly, stopped listening.  He kept talking, but I didn’t catch on again until I heard these words:

“I asked him, ‘what the f*ck are you doing?’ He started to come around at me so I unlocked the car and got my M*glite…”

Another gasp.

“and I hit him.”

Choke. Gasp.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Seriously?  I wasn’t sure if I was going to puke, lose consciousness, cry or all of the above.   The convenience store lady called the cops and there were quite a few witnesses since it was 10:00 in the morning.   She told the cop that the guy came at Will and he hit him in self defense.  Wanna know the kicker?  He was going to arrest Will for assault with a deadly weapon because he hit him with a 5-cell M*glite.  Yup.  No Crap.   Had this been a 4-cell M*glite, not the mack daddy military issued 5-cell he’s had since 1991, it wouldn’t have been an issue – supposedly.  Or a baseball bat.  Will’s BFF  is also cop so Will called him and told him what was going on.  Thank goodness BFF had the day off and was able to take his call.  BFF gave Will some “friendly advice” he passed along to the arresting officer and all we lost was the kick ass flashlight, but we’ll be working on getting that back at the kind words of BFF and his fiance, who is an asst. district attorney.

I suggested that Will not confront any more bad guys at convenience stores, especially on Snickers runs that are totally against the advice of his doctor, because he seriously runs the risk of getting shot, especially on that side of town.

I’m glad he’s okay.

Oh, yeah…they arrested the punk.  Apparently Will hit him hard enough to keep him there.

Bastard.

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