This past weekend was the Cheap Trick, Poison, Def Leppard concert.  It totally Rocked.  Rocked, I said.  Once more for good measure: R.O.C.K.E.D.  It wasn’t without some amusement, though.  C’mon folks, just because my brain misfires doesn’t mean my snark has completely gone away and I made Will’s eyes roll on more than one occasion.  Shocker, huh?

We bought tickets months ago and had planned on just the two of us going.  I scoped out the pavillion seating and toyed with how much to pay, where to sit, etc. before they went on sale.  I had my coveted code so I could buy early and I had two browsers that each held seats in two different sections and I toggled until I picked one.  No, I’m not kidding.  I was so stinking stressed.  We ended up in the “moderately” priced seats.  (Did I mention the show totally rocked? NO?  It did.)   Well, I ended up with two girlfriends, each with a friend, who bought last minute tickets so we all met up for dinner before the show.  Bless Will’s heart.  He was the tablespoon of testosterone for the night with five women around.  He was a good sport about it and he and my friend M are bosom buddies anyway so I had no concerns about there being an equal distribution of conversation.  When considering buying the tickets, I had to take into account the concert is in August in NC and it’s still hot ’round these parts this time of the year and it is an outside pavillion.  Should I buy lawn seats?  I really, really wanted seats to be closer.  Now, one time we had covered seats and we were the very last row of the expensive seats and the guy who put his feet up on the back of mine paid half the price.  Didn’t want that.  The time before that, it was an August concert and (this next part’s kinda gross) the lady’s leg next to mine was sweating on me and I was so grossed out so we got up and left.  I knew better, but I bought covered seats in hell hot August, anyway.  I was afraid if I bought lawn seats it would rain and who wants to be wet and soggy in the hell hot humidity of August?  Seats it was.  (Useless anxiety, I know…I’m plagued by it)

Insert weather report, “this is going to be the hottest weekend we’ve had so far.  Stay inside and stay cool.”  *sigh*  Wanna know the last time we heard that weather report?  When I caved and we went camping for Father’s Day.  Folks, if you want extreme heat or extreme cold, just tell me to plan something expensive and it’ll happen.  Dang it was hot.  94.  In the shade.

Traffic was a nightmare, of course, and Will refused to drive in the left lane fearing he wouldn’t be able to get back over.  Thank goodness M told us she would let us over in front of her (She was a good 1/2 mile ahead of us).  We were herded into a parking lot at a movie theater that was a mile and a half or so from the pavillion. Yes.  I know!  Since we had to walk out of the exit of the parking lot, Will refused to let’s get back in the car and just drive up to the next one.  (Just so you know, he regretted that decision BIG TIME on the walk  back to the car).  I’m a sissy to heat anyway and my swimmy-headed stuff makes it even worse.  It was hot, people.  I was sweating in places I didn’t know could sweat.  As my friend S put it via text message, “I’m sweatin like a wh*re in church.”

Cheap Trick was great.  Love their music and always have.  Great opener, even though we missed a little of the show.  I’d see them again in a heartbeat.

Poison.  Brett Michaels kept reminding me it has been 22 years since I saw theLook What the Cat Dragged In tour.  22 years since my friend J and I rocked out as sophomores in high school while her dad hung out in the parent’s room at the coliseum.  His jeans were very, very, very tight.  I asked Will, “Can you see that?!?”  Of course he was clueless.  I had to point out the obvious.  Brett’s pants were so tight his package was visible from 3 price levels back!!! Without binoculars and my contacts were blurry from the heat.  However, he did a shout out to our military.  Loved that.  We also did a waving of the cell phones since the waving of the lighters is outdated.

Def Leppard.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Someone told me I would not realize just how much I liked Def Leppard until I heard them live and he was right.  It was awesome.  Sadly, but, at this point in the night, the heat had started to get to me and I was feeling kind of bad, but I still managed to have a good time.  Phil Collen is awesome.  His playing shirtless was a little annoying, but his 6-pack abs made up for it – a little bit.  However, it wasn’t enough to make up for this cowesque chewing of gum.  Holy.Crap.   Imagine the cashier at McDon*ld’s with the big swirled up hair, her 8″ long electric blue nails with the glittery flowa for five dolla popping her gum as she takes your order.  Dude, it was horrible and everytime they showed him on the jumbotron it did me in.  Of course, I had to point that out to captain obvious, too.  I’m plagued by the little annoyances in life.  I can’t help it.  It was a kicking show though.  So very worth it.

A few highlights of the evening:

The guy next to me was so much fun.  Not Will, the other guy next to me.  Not that Will’s not fun, but stranger fun is different fun.  We didn’t talk much, but we shared some snickers as some throwbacks made their way to their seats.   His friend looked just like Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  I  wanted to say something so bad to his friend.  And I would have, but after watching him gorge himself on the cheese covered pretzel in 94* temps (in the shade) with 5000% humidity and swig an $11 can of Bud Light Lime and belch, I opted not to. Besides, I’m sure he’s heard it all before.

We (read: Mainly me because Will didn’t quite find the same humor in it as I did) played “I spy a mullet” and I counted more on women than men.  Of course, the men were sporting skullets.  The smell of Aqua Net was in the air and more air guitar was played than should be allowed by law.  See, since we parked at the far end of the earth, I didn’t risk taking my camera and being rejected with it and the camera on my phone was too slow to capture some of the best moments.  This concert had so many shining examples of exactly why history repeats itself.  Then again, it also had some shining reminders of exactly why I’ve strived to better myself over the years.  The poor beyotches who wore pleather bustiers better be glad they were wearing shredded jeans for ventilation, otherwise, they may have stroked out.  Oh, yeah.  There was one who was barefoot.  With a mullet.  Good times.

Lessons learned:

  • In the hell hot of August for an outdoor show, buy lawn seats so you can actually feel the breeze as it blows by – if it blows.  Even though it may be shoulder to shoulder, go for the cheap seats and spring for the VIP parking.  That additional $30 would have been money well spent and my concert going amigas agreed whole-heartedly.   At 11:15 at night we were still sweating.  Profusely.
  • Spring for VIP parking anyway.  Screw the hike from the interstate. It’s for the birds.  Especially in those sandals that look brand new and you thought you just forgot you had them.  Nope you didn’t forget you had them.  They freaking kill your feet.  Not the heels…the bottoms of your feet so you have blisters and it hurts to walk in socks on carpet.  They didn’t even make it back into the house.  They’re waiting for trash day.
  • I’m not supposed to drink because of the medication I’m on.  I would loved to have taken advantage of my bucket of margarita mix I bought for July 4 that is still staring me down every time I open the pantry, but freezing it without tequila just makes it a popsicle and who wants that?  I sipped a couple of beers at dinner, but my med makes beer taste stale and sodas taste flat.  Wished it made burgers and pizza taste like crap, too.   Being sober is a lot of fun when it comes to watching others. White folk ain’t got no rhythm.  ‘specially drunk ones.  Of course some of us sober ones don’t either, but still.  Singing along? Oh yeah baby….Like Mar says, “loud and proud is the only way to be.”  And I was they were.  You could have cemented the lid on my bucket and I couldn’t have carried a tune, but I belted out every lyric I knew…and some I didn’t, but I was in good company.  And that is always fun

We had a great time and I’m glad we went.  Was great to see M and she is doing fantastic from her heart surgery.  She still has some days where her chest gets sore, especially if she’s been sick and coughs a lot, but the best part about it is she is she was there.