This is part of the subject line of an email I got from Old Navy today. These shoes were horrible in the 80s and it looks like they’ll be horrible again. Apparently, they’ve been on a comeback for some time now. Those who know me know I’m no fashionista, so maybe it’s me who has the problem. Not the creepy, flimsy shoes that make your feet sweat and stink to high heaven that when you take them off, the pattern of the shoe is outlined in the street dirt you kicked up. Can’t wait for spiral perms and reindeer bangs to make it back. Oh, can’t forget: bubble skirts, blue mascara, slouch socks with hi-top Reeboks, Esprit, Swatch, Lacoste, Members Only, parachute pants, banana clips, jelly bracelets, Jordache jeans with the bow above the zipper on the back of the legs and stirrup pants.

Ya’ll know I’m not hating on the 80s. I think hair bands are the greatest thing that emerged from them. Just some things don’t need to come back, is all.

For the record, Crocs are so not in the same category as Jelly shoes and shame on you for thinking it.