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When I was growing up, my grandmother always said that if it was raining on the day of a funeral it was God’s blessing. However, she also said if it was sunny on the day of a funeral it was God’s blessing. Yesterday morning it rained. When I walked out my front door and felt the first drops on me, I smiled; God was going to bless us today.
As I pulled into the church parking lot, I smiled again; the Patriot Guard Riders were standing in the cold, windy mist with their flags. Some had hats and gloves others held cups of coffee to keep their hands warm. I hugged some, shook some hands and thanked them. They thanked me. There was absolutely no reason to thank me and Biker B. said there was, “For all you do,” with You being BSM collectively. It was the same reason I thanked them.
There were two friends who spoke; one from his childhood and the other from his service. Both told stories that made everyone give a chuckle and as we watched the backs of the heads of those in front of us nodding, we knew they were all remembering the good times. We always hear the stories about bonds of brotherhood, but it’s typically in general conversation. Yesterday that bond was so evident. The point at which it sank in for me was when his best friend, who also serves in the Army, said it through tears; he called him a brother and said he loved him. The words of his other friend that stood out to me were when he said the mission was successful. He described a mission being successful when you leave on a mission you, you want to make sure your men return; Josh’s men returned. He also described the mission as being successful when you return; Josh returned home.
At the cemetery it was quiet except for the sounds of muffled sobs as the pastor read his words. It was cold and windy at times. Although I knew it was coming, the 21 gun salute caused me to jump with each round. There was an Army officer to my left, about 1-1/2 steps behind me, standing at attention and as that first round was fired, a tear rolled down his cheek. They also flew a helicopter over. Watching as the flag was folded and presented to his parents, we knew the end of the service was drawing near. The pastor quoted Joseph Campbell in his message at the church , “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” I always remember a quote by Karl von Clausewitz, “Courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior.” This young man held so many titles: son, brother, friend, Soldier, warrior, Hero. He was courageous in his service and duty and is a true Hero who was loved by so many and remembered by so many more. He now lays to rest at the foot of his grandmother’s grave.
Very humbling.
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Last night over dinner, I needed Will to talk to me. I needed him to tell me things that he normally wouldn’t talk about with me, mainly the pretty much unspoken bond he shares with his soldiers. He isn’t one who discusses his feelings openly and sometimes not even when I ask. As I told him about the remarks from the funeral, I asked was it “true.” We hear about that bond but is it something that is really felt deep within. While it sounds like an odd question, I needed to hear his answer. The times I see Will with his Soldiers/friends are social situations with laughing, cutting up and annoying boy habits. And his answer was simple, “Yes. Those you train with, work with and fight with are your brothers. When you leave on a mission your goal is to bring them home. His friend was right, their mission was successful; everyone came home.” My Soldier’s voice was hushed as he spoke those words, whether he intended it to be or not. I told him that even though they are human, we have this image of Soldiers (Marines, Airmen, etc., too) being so strong and unwavering and it was hard watching these Soldiers shed tears. We all shed them.
There is a soldier from Matthews, NC who was killed in Afghanistan December 12, four years after he was wounded in Iraq, for which he received the Purple Heart. CPL Joshua Blaney returned home today in a flag draped coffin. Why am I blogging about this? It’s because I am the Blue to Gold liaison for my chapter of Blue Star Mothers group. I’ve sent condolence cards for fallen heroes in the past but this time is different for me. Tomorrow, Fed Ex will deliver 5 Gold Star Service Banners to my office to be presented to CPL Blaney’s family at his funeral on Friday. I was not able to be at the airport when this hero returned home but tomorrow night I will be at a funeral home paying respects to a family whom I’ve never met. It seems no matter what we do, it simply will not be enough as this family is dealing with most ultimate sacrifice of freedom. I’m the only spouse in BSM-NC and while I don’t know the heartache of sending a child to war, only my husband and best friend, my heart aches no less for their loss. I’ve found that the ties that bind us to our military families are just as strong as those that bind us to our immediate families, sometimes stronger, and our job as family is to stand tall for those who stand for us and even taller for those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom.
In the coming weeks, I will also be working with another BSM to put together a condolence/memory book for this hero’s family. There are no politics to be discussed, no opposition to express…simply remembering a Soldier who died for what he believed in.
SSG Michael Gabel was with CPL Blaney when their vehicle was blown up by an IED. SSG Gabel gave the eulogy for his best friend at a memorial service that honored three men who lost their lives in October.
”I will not be bitter,” Gabel said. “I will not shed any tears of sorrow. I’m proud to have known such a good man and a warrior to the bitter end. Until we see each other again, sky soldiers!”
There will be similar words spoken for both these heroes in the coming days.
I lift these families, immediate and extended, in prayer.
I debated posting this and I may decide later to delete it based on pure embarrassment.
I was rushing around this morning and rushed out the door grabbing what I hoped was what I needed for the day, etc. I was “uncomfortable” for the greater part of the morning. Then I had to go to the bathroom. My underwear were on backwards. Explains a lot.
This afternoon I went to pick up Olivia and I was on the phone finishing up a conversation in the parking lot. When I took the keys out of the ignition, I hit the door lock button and my doors locked. No biggie. I opened it and the alarm, I didn’t know my car had, went off. The late afternoon parent crowd was in the parking lot staring at me. I pushed buttons, closed the door, smiled, blushed, and finally got it off. Who knew. Will’s response, “You should have just put the key in the ignition.” Thanks. Got home to show off my new found alarm, couldn’t get it to work for the life of me. Now he thinks I’m a fruit loop.
Wishing you a Happy Friday.
I love links…they take you to somewhere where you take another and then the chain of links begins, which is how I found these folks…
I came across the Marine Moms – Bethesda website and they are working on collecting Christmas cards for their Operation Santa project. Thanks to those who participated in Operation HO-lotta Cheer, there are 600 cards on the way to MM-B! There would have been more but can’t send glittery/shimmery cards to the VA hospitals and the note inside has to be different than other service members. The post office reindeer need to get ready because we’ve got a HO-Lotta cheer to spread thanks to YOU!
