Happy Thanksgiving

Oh, wow.  Has it been a year already?  I guess it has and I’m not sure where the time goes so fast.  I thought having a mortgage made time fly.  Heh.  It pales in comparison to having a kidlet.  It’s funny how the work day seems to drag by but those hours from dinner to bedtime seem to go by in an instant.  There are so many things to be thankful for.  First and foremost to my brother and SIL for hosting Thanksgiving at their house.  All I had to bring was a bottle of wine.  I was so happy about it I took three!  This is a tradition they started several years back and one I look forward to.  The food is always fantastic, as is the company.   This year we have Olivia with us.  My niece, C, made a candle at school and everyone had to pass around the candle and say what they are thankful for.  Mine was simple.  I am thankful for the newest addition to our immediate family (Olivia) and the extended family (our newest niece, A, who was born in July).  I am thankful for all my family and for good health.   It was nice to hear everyone say they were thankful for their families.  Although not spoken out loud at dinner, we are eternally grateful, for everyone who helped us achieve our dreams of being a family and I try hard not to take any of it for granted.  I know I’ve written it before but every night when I put Olivia to bed, I promise to try and be a better mommy tomorrow than I was today.  I mean it from the depths of my soul. 

There are so many things to be thankful for so I’ll list a few of them:

• Again, for Olivia and all the joy she has brought us.
• For our family who has rallied around us for nine months and three days since becoming a family.
• For our friends and all they bring to us.  They are the family we get to choose and I must say, we’ve got the best of the best.
• For the house we call a home.
• Good health.
• Jobs.
• The abililty to love and to know what it is like to be loved.
• For Pom Pom being so understanding when Olivia insists on telling her “NO, NO, NO” and skaking her finger at her nose for absolutely no reason and still giving us her little crooked, underbite grin and snuggling close at night.
• Online shopping with free shipping.

It has been a great year filled with ups, downs, laughter, tears and much more but I honestly don’t think I would trade it. We send our most heartfelt wishes for a fantastic Thanksgiving and we hope you are able to count your blessings, however big or small. 

Phishing?

This is a phrase that shows up quite often in our credit union newsletters and I know not to ever give out any account information, passwords, etc. Sunday I checked my email and I had an email from Bl0ckbuster 0nline thanking me for my current subscription. What? I went to their website and requested the password be sent to me. Funny – no security question asked so I went ahead and reset the password so I could look at it since I had no clue about it. When I checked the account information it had my correct billing address and the last four digits of my CREDIT CARD NUMBER! I was mortified so I checked my card account online and there was no strange activity and Bl0ckbuster customer service was closed until this morning. The first time I called the rep told me he needed my full credit card number in order to access the account. Um, no. Look it up by my name. He did, verified shipping information and asked me what city I was born in and we proceeded to talk about the account. I immediately hung up and called to cancel the c/c and report the fraudulent activity. I wanted more info from Bl0ckbuster so I called back and got rep #2. She asked for the c/c number and I, again, told her no and to pull it up by my name. She did asked me the same security question and I answered her. See, here’s the thing. I gave the wrong answer to both reps. When I was talking to Will to tell him not to use his c/c I decided, for giggles, to see if he knew what city I was born in (for the longest time he couldn’t remember my birthday or the color of my eyes). He answered and I told him he was wrong…but, he wasn’t. I was! I always get the city I was born in confused with where I lived for the first few years of my childhood and I have a little ditty I say “I was born in abc, lived in xyz” and then give the city as abc. Not today. I guess I was just so flustered that I gave xyz as my answer and it was WRONG. So, my third call to Bl0ckbuster I had the guy pull up my account and told him I wanted to verify the answer to the security question on the account. He told me what it was and it wasn’t even close. Both other reps had let me get information on the account with the wrong security answer. Nice, huh?

This is what I found out: It was set up via a 3rd party website – they told me they can’t see which one that their legal department will have to look into that and the only way I can get the information is by subpeona. They told me that I supposedly set this up on Saturday. Didn’t happen. Even if I did, by some strange act, I would never have put in the answer they show as the city I was born in. Never. It would never have dawned on me to use it.

Credit card canceled: check.

Affidavit for fraud filled out: check.

Upset over the lack of security for them: check. Thank goodness I don’t have a real account with them and if I did, I would surely cancel it after this.

It’s funny. If I hadn’t told them it was fraud they would have told me every.single.thing about that account but when I try to find out how it was set up their lips grew tighter than bark on a pine tree. Go figure.

New cards will be here next week and there is a pending charge with today’s date from them, which rep #1 told me there wasn’t, rep#2 confirmed her, and rep#3 told me they must have both been smoking crack because he saw it plain as day, which my bank will reverse immediately. (no, he didn’t really say they were smoking crack but did say they didn’t tell me the truth.)

Earlier in the year and then again late spring, we got a letter that our credit information had been “compromised” (read as: lost) from two different places so I watched our credit reports closely and no funky stuff there and one sent a letter that they had investigated and all was well.

People: shred, shred, shred and make sure the sites you are on are secured sites before entering any credit card information. The credit card they used wasn’t one I use anymore and it hasn’t been used for anything in the recent past so who knows how, where or when the information was acquired. One person told me i.d. theft. One told me phishing. I don’t really care I just want it fixed.

Weekend update

Just in time for the upcoming weekend.

Loved the trip to Ikea with Shannon. I had no idea that 366,000 square feet could hold so much stuff! Not sure what I was expecting but it was fun.fun.fun. I managed to pick up a “few” things for the homestead but nothing super duper outrageous. If I hadn’t found a good deal on duvet covers for the silk quilts we bought in Beijing, I would not have gone over my budget. So, I don’t really count that as it was something I wasn’t expecting to find. Justified.

The trip was pretty uneventful on the way down until we got just outside Atlanta and holy moly. There were about 6 or so little souped up, tricked out cars – just like The Fast and the Furious. Oh, my. They lined up in the two far left lanes and STOPPED on the interstate as the rest of us were cruisng oh, let’s say, 75 mph. We heard their little engines roar and they took off racing shooting across 5 lanes of traffic to an exit ramp. Suh-weet.

We stayed at Hy@tt Pl@ce and it was a great stay for such a bargain price. According to the front desk guy, Hy@tt bought out A merisu ites and are in the process of renovating them into little mini suites. Gotta love laying in bed with your feather pillows, comfy down quilt watching a 42″ t.v. for only $62/night. Yep. $62. Love a bargain.

After a marathon day of shopping and learning that Atlanta puts signs way up high so you miss 16th Street and I-85, we enjoyed a great dinner at Lisa’s after going up to the outside of the lower outer loop and back again. She and Eammon are wonderful hosts and such fun people to be around. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard since my trip to the mountains with the Tiara Girls in September. Dinner was spicy and delicious. Her homemade, from scratch brownies to die for!!! I loved them. Thank you for being such gracious hosts. Can’t wait to do it again.

Sunday we loaded our bags into the car amongst our loot and headed home. I came home with some home goodies, a double ear infection, upper respiratory infection and “an infected throat” (a.k.a. strep). O and I have both been under the weather this week and, bless her heart, she was so hoarse when she cried it was just a shriek. So, mega-antibiotics, decongestants and lots of rest later, we’re getting back on our feet.

Other than being sick, it was a fun, fun time.

Where did that come from?

Olivia chatters.  Sometimes we can understand it.  Sometimes we can’t.  We can tell when she’s questioning something because she throws her hands up as to say “well?”  She was in awe of all the treasures at the toy store Saturday and we heard this new word/sound.  Will asked me what she was saying and I didn’t know.  It wasn’t one I had heard before  and she just kept saying it over and over.   Hmmm.  She was about 5 steps ahead of us and as she got to the end of the aisle, she pointed and screamed “EHMO” at a HUGE display of different Elmo toys.   We just looked at each other and wondered where she picked it up.  We don’t watch Elmo at home, she doesn’t own one and they don’t have one at school – at least I’ve never seen one and I’ve seen the war torn room at the end of the day and have even helped pick up.  She was saying it but I guess because it wasn’t something we were expecting to hear, our ears didn’t pick it up.  We aren’t Elmo people but I guess she’s about to change that but not without my kicking and screaming the whole way.  After all, I just bought two backup teddy bears.  Do kids have an Elmo-dar that allows them to know who he is?  Is it because he’s red?  Aye, yay, yay.  I.just.don’t.know. 

Can someone tell me how to slow her down?  She’s just growing up so freaking fast and I guess stay tuned to see if I cave and “Ehmo” shows up at the L household at some point.

Welcome to our century

This past weekend was pretty much a sleepless blur for me. I am an insomniac and have been for years. Saturday morning some local friends of ours returned home from China with their too-cute kidlet and we met them at the airport at 6 a.m. We were running late (surprise) and got there just as they were coming down the escalator into baggage claim. WOW! A is so much cuter in person than in her referral picture – but aren’t they all? She is from Chongqing (O’s province) but a different orphange. She’s so alert and smiley and happy. There were two other families there who had just received their referrals – a little girl from Hunan and a BOY from Chongqing, again a different orphanage. That family was like us and didn’t specify gender and, if I may say, he is quite a handsome little fella. We had a nice breakfast with everyone who gathered at the airport and since we were so close (just over an hour versus an hour and forty minutes) to the outlet mall, we decided to let O have her very first outlet shopping experience. She did well and we found a couple of good deals but nothing major. Santa was able to finish up his shopping and we found a cute, cute outfit from Strasburg Children. It was on the clearance rack (the only way I shop from there) for next spring/summer. Olivia has a purple velvet dress I bought in Gulfport in spring ‘05 she is wearing this fall. Gotta love an outfit that rings up at 75% off. We also found our stockings for this year at the Pottery Barn outlet – my second favorite store in the whole wide world. I started getting crabby and O was overdue for her nap so we started home. It was 12:30 and I had been up since 6 a.m. Friday morning. I was BEAT. I had taken something to sleep Friday night but it didn’t work. I watched re-runs of the Tonight Show, Nick at Night and lots of infomercials. I laid there wishing myself to sleep and watched each hour as it passed. We finally got in the house and settled about 2:00 and at 2:30 I finally went to sleep for a couple of hours while Olivia and daddy played quietly and folded (and unfolded) clothes. I woke up just in time to order pizza for dinner and go back to bed. Ahhh, sleep. At last. Yesterday morning we all woke up late and missed church so Will took O and they went off for a day of wandering around so I could get some work done. They came home about 3-1/2 hours later with a gift in hand for mommy. (oooh, I love presents!) Will has stepped me up into the current century with an iPod. I love it. I love it. I love it. It’s kind of an early Christmas present (heh.). I knew I didn’t want the Nano and I was “afraid” the 30 gb wouldn’t be large enough (heh). I called my friendly technogeek Shanny and I think she’s more excited about it than I am – she’s had hers forever. I stream music at work, we have Sirius in Will’s car and a cd changer in mine but it stays empty half the time and I never really thought about having an Ipod. That was until last week when, for some odd reason, I started thinking it would be nice. Will loaded me up with a few tunes last night and O and I rocked out on the way to school and work this morning. Shanny will school me on it as we drive down to Atlanta this coming weekend for my first visit to Ikea with a bonus of meeting Lisa after all these months of reading her blog. It’s going to be fun girly weekend and I can’t wait.

Okay, on to what you really want to know about… I’ve been asked about some pictures of O. Here’s the deal – WordPress has changed (or I’ve become an idiot) their gig for uploading pictures. When I load them they are either mega huge or postage stamp size (I can’t change the size in HTML like I used to). I need to practice – again – so they are forthcoming. That has to be my biggest complaint with WP but I don’t want to go back to blogger so I’ll figure it out. Hang in there and be patient with me.

Something to be proud of

This is a blog post I’ve started many times over the past year but never finished. I’ve always gone back and re-read and decided to delete it because I never knew how to finish it. Those who either know me or have followed our blog for a while know that I am passionate (or maybe over emotional) about Will’s tour in Iraq. It was the most sobering experience of our lives. I recently read on a blog about the negativity that was being aired in our news and the “real” story wasn’t out there for us to hear. I want to share our story. It’s long but it’s our story.

Trying to keep a stiff lip is hard when you’re packing your husband to leave home and all you have are two seabags with weight restrictions. You think packing to go to China was hard? Piece of cake in comparison. There were helmets, cold weather gear, hot weather gear, white socks, black socks, underwear – long and regular, regular military issue t-shirts, Under Armour t-shirts, 3 sets of uniforms, boots, caps, covers, boonie hats, one regular outfit (non-jeans) with a collared shirt, one pair of regular shorts, jeans and shirt, tennis shoes, PT gear that had to be blue – shorts, sweats and t-shirt, your standard toiletries and anything else that you would need for three months until they were in country (Iraq) and receive a care package from home. We had a fight. Not a huge fight but a fight, none the less. It was over something very trivial and we felt foolish about it. We headed out to dinner and enjoyed ourselves because the next day, Valentine’s Day 2005, my husband was going from a “one weekend a month and two weeks a year” reservist to an active duty Navy Seabee. Wow. When Will and I first met he was active duty Marine Corps and had already served all of his overseas time before me and it was “peace time.” In the eight years we had been married, we had never been separated for more than a few days at a time – other than his two weeks annual training and even then I knew where he was and we talked every night before we went to bed. This was going to be so different. I just didn’t know how different it would be.

The Seabee ball was coming up while they were still stateside and my friend Jill and I had been dress shopping. I was going to go down to Gulfport, MS to the first formal event Will and I had ever attended together. I found, what I felt was, the perfect dress and had the lady at the store hold it for me so I could sleep on it to make sure. It was. It was the perfect dress and I was going to go buy it the next evening after work. Will called during the day and told me their deployment date had been moved up by three weeks and they were leaving before we would have a chance to go the ball. I booked an airline ticket, hotel room and headed off for my first ever trip to Mississippi to spend time together – a day and a half. We had a fantastic time together and it just like we were dating again only this time we had money to spend. We went to the Oceanarium, casinos, ate fabulous dinners and just had fun – with each other.

The 4 a.m. wake up call on Monday morning for me to have him back to base by 5:30 came way to early. We hugged and I cried. His eyes were red and welled up with tears. He’s not one who cries very much but it showed me that he loved me and was going to miss me. Saying good bye was tough and as I drove off he stood in the road and waved at me. The view from the rear view mirror broke my heart. At the airport I sat and wondered who else was leaving their husband, brother, loved one or friend for the last time until the deployment was over. I called my mom and told her I was on my way back to NC to begin the wait of all waits. I cried for most of the flight. Not out loud but with eyes closed and tears rolling down my cheeks. I went carry-on only so there was no luggage to gather only the short ride to satellite parking. I got in my car and sat paralyzed for about ten minutes and began the drive home that would just be Pom Pom and me with Will’s left behind belongings and the dream of the child we had started to prepare for.

It was more emotionally taxing than I ever imagined. We made a deal before he left that he would tell me everything – good or bad – rather than me have to hear it from someone else. The words spoken in the 20 minutes of phone time have to be chosen carefully so as to make sure everything that needed to be covered was. 102 “I love you’s” in one phone call. It was in between other things. Every night before we go to sleep we have a little “routine” and it goes like this:

Me: Do you love me?

Him: Yes.

Me: How much?

Him: With all my heart.

Me: How much is that?

Him: More than you’ll ever know.

It wasn’t every night I got to hear this but he did tell me and I would tell him to dream about me. The call ended.

I was only able to get very general information as to what was happening because he could only say so much. I’d ask questions and he would answer yes or no. Some of the yes answers broke my heart. It’s so numbing to hear a truck in their convoy hit a land mine. No one was killed but they were hurt. Will ran convoys to and from different cities and I got a call one day that their hooch (where they slept) had been hit by rocket fire. Where was he? Looking for a t-shirt for me. (I’m a t-shirt ho and have one from everywhere we’ve ever been) It arrived in our mailbox about two weeks later and I sat in the car and held it. It’s never been worn and the tags are still on it. Needless to say it is one of my most prized possessions.

The good news phone calls were that when they visited cities, the children would scramble for pencils and crayons faster than they would candy that was being handed out. Schools are reopening and not being used for weapons storage. Hospitals are being rebuilt. Roads are being repaired. Water lines are being laid and repaired so the people will have clean drinking water. The Iraqi people are learning new skills – building, security, truck driving. They are learning to defend themselves. Will’s unit was assigned to an area that built sleeping quarters at a training camp. The Iraqi people helped in the construction and traveled in the convoys to get materials. They are helping. They are glad our military is there to help. Some of them aren’t but many are.

This next part is something I’ve never told another person other than Will and maybe his parents. In August 2005, fourteen Marines were killed outside of Haditha, where Will and his unit were working along the Euphrates River. My heart stopped and the tears started. One of the Marines was from Oklahoma, Will’s home state. He, and so many others, had lost their lives protecting my husband’s. I would forever be grateful. I wrote a letter to the family and it was sent to the funeral home. I don’t know if they ever got it or ever read it. What do you say to someone who has experienced probably the greatest loss of their lives; their son, husband, friend died for his country. I tried to think to myself what would I want someone to say to me had the tables been turned. I can only speculate as God has watched over my family and I have not had to experience this. I would want people to not criticize the war efforts and my husband’s service, but show appreciation for volunteering for our country’s military. I can’t count the number of times people have told Will thank you when he’s been out in uniform or find out that he’s in the military. It feels good. Just like when someone tells you congratulations for a job well done or gives thanks for something you’ve done. I would want people to say kind things, not canned sympathies. Something from the heart. That is what I did. My heart opened up and my pen wrote. I can’t remember exactly what I wrote but I know I said “thank you” and I know I must have written it several times throughout the letter. I don’t know their family and I never will. Why this one Marine when so many other lives have been lost? I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I just felt like I needed to do it so I did.

We took a vacation when Will got home and we were on a group tour one day and the guide stopped and turned to us and said he had an announcement he would like to make. He told the people on our tour that Will had just returned home from Iraq and thanked him for his service. Everyone on the bus stood and applauded. It made him blush but it made me cry. We held hands even tighter.

Will came home with 1400+ photos and videos. Some were taken by him and some weren’t. Some are of sunsets they watched set over the desert, camels, gila monsters and projects they worked on. There are pictures of them goofing around during down time, sleeping and just being away from home. He also told me that sometimes after they got off the phones, they would sit around and talk about what the wives and families had told them – to hear a bit of news from home. It’s what helped round out their day. Listening to someone tell that their son made a sandbox in the living room with powdered Gatorade and sugar made everyone laugh. While we were in Virginia, I thanked the guys and gals he was with. Thanked them for taking care of each other. Some of them probably thought it was hokey but I meant it from the greatest depths of my being and although they may have considered it hokey, they said “you’re welcome.”

People ask(ed) me what did I do for those months. Aside from retail therapy, I prayed. I prayed a lot. I prayed for the safety of not just my husband but all our troops and that God would give them the strength they needed to do their jobs and to come home. I logged so many miles to the post office they should have offered me a job. I would send care packages that included socks, snacks, sunscreen, bug repellent, pillows, sheets, miscellaneous goodies, fishing pole and anything else he mentioned he and the others would like to have. I sent extras so they could be shared. Everytime they moved, they would have to leave items behind because they didn’t have room to pack it all to take with them and it would start over again. That’s okay. That’s what it was sent for – to be used and it didn’t matter who used it. I mailed letters and cards and tried to remind him how much I missed and loved him. During part of his deployment, I started having trouble sleeping and just handling day to day activities so I went to see my doctor. While we were talking he said to me, “Will is one lucky fella.” I shook my head and said he was crazy. How is Will the lucky one when he’s sleeping on a dirt floor, wearing the same clothes for five + days at a time, working in 145* temps and so far away from home? His asked me a couple of more questions before he answered me and these are the questions and my answers:

“Do you love your husband?” Yes. Of course I do.

“Do you miss your husband?” Yes. Of course I do.

“Do you tell him you miss and love him?” Yes. Of course I do.

“Would you ever cheat on him?” No. Of course I wouldn’t.

“Do you trust him to not cheat on you?” Yes. Of course I do.

Then he told me “that’s why he is so lucky.” It stopped me dead in my tracks and I went breathless. He was the only doctor close to our house that accepted our military health insurance so he had seen countless other spouses and military personnel when they returned home. Without great detail, he told me about wives who cheated on their husbands while they were deployed. Husbands who would come home to empty houses because their wives left them. Bank accounts that had been drained and closed. Financial obligations that had been ignored. This also went for husbands whose wives were serving overseas. To me it was unfathomable because I would never have done those thing. I couldn’t imagine it. But it happens and it happens alot. He told me Will was lucky because he didn’t have to focus on anything else other than his job and tasks at hand. Once Will was home and we started talking, he told me the same scenarios my doctor had told me about that happened with some of the people who were with him. Will told me he was glad he didn’t have to worry about that. I didn’t either so I guess we were both “lucky. “

Despite all the negativity portrayed in the media, there is good going on. Unfortunately, good doesn’t sell so we don’t hear it. Most of the time it is found in local papers about one of the town’s heroes. It’s sad but it’s true. I have read many blogs written by service men and women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Their blogs are written with a bird’s eye perspective and I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been humbled by their words. I will continue to read their journey, pray for their safety and thank God when I read that they are safe and sound back on U.S. soil.

Not all military families are Republicans and not all military families agree with war. We are, however, supporters and ralliers for those we love who have made the choice to stand strong for what they believe in, the land we call home.

In our eyes this is something to be proud of. And we are.